Dear Demure,

Well geez, it's been a 12 year "sabbatical" for me on this blog.
I don't like to "BS" so let's just call it what it is; I gave up on my blog (and myself) 12 years ago, right around the time my first child was about to be born. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I got filled with motherly-anxiety to the max and that KILLED almost all of my creativity. Though it was also a willing sacrifice on my part to make space for this new unknown chapter in life. I wanted to soak it in and be there for every moment. I also found that I was not able to multitask or prioritize myself without (again) ANXIETY and that's probably because I might have ADD.

I have no regrets about my decision to lay low though. I know that I honestly and wholeheartedly gave of myself, my attention and my heart to my babies, and if they come for me later in life, I have RECEIPTS!

Lately I've started to feel something coming back. What do they call that now-days? Rizz? Skibidi? I'm Kidding! Back about 12 years ago that could have been called "my mojo". Ew.

What ever it is, I'm definitely feeling parts of myself thawing out. 

I took some time this week to look back on my blog posts here, my YouTube account and Instagram posts from 12 years ago and got even more creative fever. I also realized how absolutely oblivious I was about my gifts. There were so many things I had my hands in. And really that's kind of how I roll in life. But it bothers me that I still have yet to be successful at one of them. Successful enough to make a partial contribution to our finances. 

I'm praying that God gives me the wisdom to value my gifts and finally do something meaningful with them. Pray for me if you are a prayer. I need it.

~inna~